Changing the Culture: The Sexiness of Consent

*Disclaimer: this post consists of musical choices that promote acquiring consent over participating in rape culture. This is not a political post; however, in the future, there will be a more in-depth look into combatting rape culture through other political means.*

We often talk about the "culture", but the idea of what popular culture is seems to be more pervasive than the musical trends and fashion fads. Culture is the set of ideas that are embedded in everything we consume. 

The hottest topic in today's media is rape culture: who perpetrates the culture and how it affects how its victims are treated in society. As consumers, we have the power to shift the culture away from rape culture towards consent culture. We have to make it commonplace to request consent from our partners and associates. It's responsible to ask, its respectable to request  consent, and that makes the good times worth having even better. My partner and I engage in requesting consent, and it honestly gives us more satisfaction to do so. There is no obligation to do anything, and whatever we do together is because we both want to do it. I couldn't ask for a better partner :)

So if you know me, you know that I love love LOVE making playlists. So check out my #ConsentIsSexy playlist and get you some game on some easy and mood-elevating ways to ask for consent:

Permission - Ro James

The whole song is requesting permission from a partner and it jams! Keep making consent cool, Ro!

Come on, give me that green light/You can let your hair hang down/Well only if it feels right/Oh, give me that green light/I need you to give me that green light

The Light - Jeremih & Ty Dolla $ign

This has got to be my number 1 summer song and its what inspired this post. I liked how consent was expertly weaved into the lyrics and intentions were clearly stated from the beginning.

Let's have sex, but not without the foreplay (okay, cool)/But not without the first date (okay, cool)/But not before I have to wonder if you let me hit/If I walk you to your doorway
Let's have sex, but not without the sprees babe (okay, cool)/Not without the vacays, no (aye)

Can I - Alina Baraz & Galimatias

This is the first track I'd heard from Alina Baraz, and she seductively and smoothly requests consent in each verse. We need more songs like this!

Can I make you feel okay?/Would you let me take you to a higher place?/No no no no, I bet you never knew/There’s a universe inside of you/Can I undress you

Green Light - John Legend & Andre 3000

I remember buying the Evolver album in college and Green Light was one of the first singles from the project and as a washed millennial I still love this song. It made me wonder why more people weren't asking for the green light. 

Dying to meet you, so let's mess around/Got an obsession of us getting down/Come just a little bit closer/I just need permission, so/Give me the green light/Give me just one night/I'm ready to go right now/I'm ready to go right now

Teach Me Tonight (Hootenanny) - Amy Winehouse

The late, great Amy Winehouse was a sultry crooner whom we lost too soon. Before she left, she graced us with Teach Me Tonight, where she asks her partner how, what and when before they got down.

Starting with the ABC of it/Roll right down to the XYZ of it/Help me solve the mystery of it/Go on, teach me tonight

Do You Feel Me - Anthony Hamilton

The smooth soul singer reminds his partner that he's not psychic and that he needs a word and a sign from his partner so they can be on the same page. 

Wish I could see through/See deep into you/And know what you're thinking now/And if I were to need it/I need some kind of sign/Let me know cuz I can't read your mind
Are you in?/Or am I in this on my own?/I need some clue from you/Let me know babe

Slow Down - Alicia Keys; Unthinkable (I'm Ready)

The songstress denotes her lack of consent with her partner, and urges them to take their time in Slow Down. Not giving consent is respectable and should always be acknowledged. 

See there so much about you/That I want to explore/Physical attraction/We just can't ignore it/But before we get too far across the line/Gotta really make sure that I'm sure

Keys' Unthinkable makes a clear distinction of consent, however. Check it out:

I was wondering maybe, could I make you my baby?/If we do the unthinkable, would it make us look crazy?/If you ask me I'm ready (I'm ready)/If you ask me I'm ready (I'm ready)

Let's Get it On - Marvin Gaye

This aphrodisiac anthem is also full of consent, and I love it!

Don’t you know how sweet and wonderful life can be, ooh ooh/I’m asking you baby to get it on with me, ooh ooh ooh/I ain't gonna worry, I ain't gonna push, I won't push you baby/So come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, baby/Stop beating round the bush, hey

I'll Make Love to You - Boyz II Men

Another washed millennial reference, but a goodie, nonetheless. BIIM's classic addresses their partners that their consent and preference matters.

I'll make love to you/Like you want me to/And I'll hold you tight/Baby all through the night/I'll make love to you/When you want me to/And I will not let go/'Til you tell me to
 

Freek-A-Leek - Petey Pablo

Although this song may not seem to be the consent anthem, the fact that Petey Pablo asks the person whom he is pursuing how they would like to enjoy their time, and that's exactly what consent entails. Ask questions, get answers, and proceed appropriately. *Please note that consent is always supposed to be acquired while sober. Any consent given under the influence is void.*

Do you want it on the floor, do you want it on the chair?/Do you want it over here, do you want it over there?

Let's Talk About Sex - Salt-N-Pepa

In one of Salt-N-Pepa's most direct and catchy bops, the idea of consent and open dialogue about sex is all up and through this throwback jam.

Let's talk about sex for now/To the people at home or in the crowd/It keeps coming up anyhow/Don't be coy, avoid, or make void the topic/Cause that ain't gonna stop it/Now we talk about sex on the radio and video shows/Many will know, anything goes/Let's tell it how it is, and how it could be/How it was, and of course, how it should be

Teachme - Musiq Soulchild

Rounding off the playlist is my all-time favorite artist. Here, he shows his vulnerability and openness in Teachme. He asks his partner what they need so that he can be the one to fulfill those desires. 

Girl, I know I lack affection and expressing my feelings/It took me a minute to come and admit this but, see I'm really tryna/Change now, wanna love you better, show me how/I'm trying desperately, baby please work with me

Let me know some of your favorite consent anthems everywhere @jazzmynblu!

Changing the Culture: The Sexiness of Consent is an original post and appeared first on BYNKradio.com by Jazzmyn Blu.